We lost our only child to an overdose at the beginning of Covid time. My husband and I found that we were greatly consoled by communications from friends and loved ones and by gifts that showed up on our front porch, including food. However at times it was too much and went on for too long; there probably is someway to have managed it better but we were in no shape to do that. For example we could have asked a close friend to set up a system for food delivery on one of the websites for that purpose.
Another thing I learned came from reading many cliche-filled cards. Dana is right that we do not have much practice giving condolences and tend to parrot phrases we have heard previously. (Happily, her books will be changing this situation!) My husband and I felt that the condolences that were most meaningful contained more personal comments and included happy memories of our son. We also appreciated impromptu artwork: drawings, collages, photos, songs left on our answering machine, etc.
Thank you, Tori, for sharing specifics about what has helped you. I never thought about the idea of organizing food delivery for someone who's grieving, but I can see how that would be so helpful. Thank you for that, and for your heart-felt share. Big love to you and your sweet hubby.
We lost our only child to an overdose at the beginning of Covid time. My husband and I found that we were greatly consoled by communications from friends and loved ones and by gifts that showed up on our front porch, including food. However at times it was too much and went on for too long; there probably is someway to have managed it better but we were in no shape to do that. For example we could have asked a close friend to set up a system for food delivery on one of the websites for that purpose.
Another thing I learned came from reading many cliche-filled cards. Dana is right that we do not have much practice giving condolences and tend to parrot phrases we have heard previously. (Happily, her books will be changing this situation!) My husband and I felt that the condolences that were most meaningful contained more personal comments and included happy memories of our son. We also appreciated impromptu artwork: drawings, collages, photos, songs left on our answering machine, etc.